LaRae Quy is the founder and CEO of the Mental Toughness Center and the producer of Secrets of a Strong Mind, an online training program.
My greatest lesson about the importance of authentic leadership came from my first undercover assignment as an FBI agent. I found myself locked in a room with three men and two women who the FBI was investigating for extortion and murder-for-hire. I went with a fellow agent—he was posing undercover as a motorcycle gang member, and he needed a girlfriend to accompany him to a barbecue.
Little did I know that the criminals had already sensed that my date for the afternoon was not what he seemed to be. They didn’t judge him as trustworthy, and I was interrogated in the locked room to determine if I was the real deal.
I stopped all pretense of being anything other than who I was—a hillbilly who left her Wyoming ranch to get away and see the big city. I told the interrogators everything about myself, except my true name and where I worked.
I was authentic, they believed me, and I left the room unharmed.
I could slap whatever name or title on my lapel, but the only time I ran into trouble when working undercover was when I tried to be someone I wasn’t. This lesson in the power of authenticity stayed with me for the rest of my career.
Authentic leadership focuses on honesty and legitimacy. No one can be authentic by trying to imitate someone else. You can learn from others, but you can’t succeed when trying to be just like them. And no one can imitate you, either. As an authentic leader, you possess a unique set of experiences, background and skills. So let’s take a closer look at how being authentic can make you a more effective leader.
1. Building Trust
When working undercover, locked in a room with violent criminals, I needed to build trust. My authenticity and honesty created that trust. It’s simple: People trust you when you are authentic and genuine. Consider Steve Jobs, who, during a speech to the Stanford graduating class in 2005, shared about why he dropped out of college and the emotions he felt when he was fired from his company. It was a clear example of both his authentic leadership style and the trust he placed in the audience to understand it.
Trust is important because it’s the foundation for effective relationships, collaboration and team performance. Research by Paul J. Zak, CEO of Immersion Neuroscience at Claremont Graduate University, found that “compared with people at low-trust companies, people at high-trust companies report: 74% less stress, 106% more energy at work, 50% higher productivity, 13% fewer sick days, 76% more engagement, 29% more satisfaction with their lives, [and]
40% less burnout.”
My Tips:
• Say what you mean and mean what you say. Align your words with your actions.
• Communicate intentions clearly. Don’t assume others can read your mind.
• Try to always tell the truth. Even small lies can erode trust.
• Be consistent. Reliability over time is key.
2. Encouraging Self-Awareness
Self-awareness allows us to manage our reactions so we’re not at the mercy of negative emotions. Emotional responses operate below the level of our conscious awareness. However, we must know they exist before we can change an automated emotional response! We need self-awareness.
When interrogated in that locked room, I needed a firm grip on my emotions. I was scared to death because I knew these people were murderers. But when the chips were down, I leaned into that part of myself that valued honesty and authenticity. I knew myself well enough that I didn’t need to pretend.
If you are serious about discovering authentic leadership, you must get to know yourself. Being self-aware about your strengths and weaknesses is vital to being an authentic leader. Successful people understand why they succeed, what motivates them, and which people or situations trigger their reactions. In my experience, being self-aware greatly increases your chances of pursuing the right opportunities, leveraging your strengths and preventing your emotions from hindering your progress.
“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.”—Lao Tzu
My Tips:
• List what you believe to be true of yourself. Include both the good and the bad.
• Examine each belief. Expand on it and identify how, when and where you acquired that belief. Is it true? Does it feel right today, or do you need to modify it?
3. Clarifying Values
Your values control every decision in your life. I discovered this truth while working undercover. Growing up on a cattle ranch instilled in me values like honesty and integrity, which helped me navigate some sticky situations during my career because my values aligned with the FBI’s mission and purpose.
A clear sense of purpose drives authentic leaders. Their values are the principles they live by. Values set the standard for what is good, fair and meaningful in your life. Values determine what you seek from yourself and others, what you avoid and what you find fulfilling.
Many people don’t learn what their true values are until they face serious pressure—whether their career, family or life is at risk, those moments show them what they are most willing to sacrifice or hold on to. It’s important to determine what those values are in your own life so that when you face those difficult times, you will be able to trust in your ability to weather them.
My Tips:
• Ask yourself, “What is missing from my life?”
• Keep asking this question until the answers become tough to identify. In my experience, what is buried beneath is where you’ll find your deepest values.
Authentic leadership is about embracing your unique experiences and values. You can learn from others, but I have found that true leadership comes from being yourself—because no one else can do that for you.
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